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Fun Ways to Amuse Yourself at Halloween!

Published by Ardella Slovacek

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Orange streaks in your hair always add a bit of energy to the mood. So spray on some color and enliven your hair and your Halloween.

Eschew sugar and hand out the presidential gold dollar coin. No matter how young the trick or treater is tell them to invest the dollar in stocks because historically the market gives the best return on money invested, LOL.

Answer the door dressed as Sarah Palin. (Those of us w/ long dark hair and glasses don’t need to try tooo hard for this look). Don’t forget to wear the red hooker heels and too much makeup! Your friends will laugh hysterically and children will be frightened and may even ask: “Mommy who is that nasty Sarah Palin lady who will want to draft me if she is ever president?”

Tape a bar code to your forehead and pretend to be a product for sale for your costume. Set your price tag high and wear a button that says all profits will be donated to the charity of your choice.

Wear a big poster board with your age on it as your costume. Go ahead, it is just a number!

Get a big orange wig and wear it with panache!

Add some orange sugar dye to food cookies and put some black sprinkles on top.

Put a sign on your door that says: Can’t afford treats, paying tooooo much money for health insurance due to preexisting conditions.

Mess with some minds by giving some traditional costumes a “twist.” Wear a mangled wedding gown with ugly mud patches, wear a mock military uniform with a diamond tiara, an I’m Queer button, and a fairy princess wand. Wear a vampy evening gown with boxing gloves, or a white sheet with fake blood all over it and call yourself a “death panel ghost.” Or just do a mock of your typical style. Whatever you are normally like, do the opposite.

Dress in a moose costume and attach a sign that says: “Let me know if Sarah Palin is around, she wants to kill me! ”

Wear a John McCain mask, a poster that says 2016 and another that says “geezer: eligible for death panel review” on the back.

Wear white and carry a boom box that plays Madonna’s song “Like a Virgin.” This costume is good for anyone about to marry who may need a virginity touchup practice session.

Wear black pretend to be the grim reaper passing out condoms and promoting safe sex.

Happy Halloween!

 

 

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