Playing Tricks on Your Spouse
Spousal teasing in my household runs year round. Since my wife is so used to me playing jokes on her, I have to pull out all the stops to shock her on Halloween. There are dozens of things you can do around the house to shock your spouse. The list multiplies when others are in on the joke.
- Prepare: Get everything- all the items needed ahead of time. Have a place to store them. Hide spoiler items such as receipts and pay with cash so “Tom’s Joke Shop” does not show up on the bank or credit card statements.
- If you are going all out, get the kids involved (if applicable) or others. Try to knit your prank into the daily routine of your household so that it is even more unsuspecting.
- It’s a good idea to set up a camcorder for at least one of the jokes- yes that is plural. Don’t you want to replay the event over and over and laugh until you have abs like Suzanne Somers? Well, she endorses thighmaster, but you get the gist.
I’ll share my last year’s experience. This will give you an idea on how I planned and managed to pull off the household’s best to date. These sequence of events can be modified to fit almost any household. My wife claimed that I made her have heart palpitations from all the scare tactics I employed. She is a good sport, well, not really, certain services she usually provided were revoked for an undisclosed period time.
I started out by obtaining and hiding the following items:
A pocket cassette recorder
Fake blood and a disposable razor
Meal worms (These have to be kept cool. Plan accordingly.)
One complete men’s outfit with bed sheets as stuffing
Sounds of a baby laughing to be placed on a cassette. (You can make your own spooky sounds)
One Manikin’s head and hand- (I got foam ones from the local art store)
One Toilet Monster with Screamer
One large bowl.
2 plastic bags
On the eve before my hi jinx, I began setting up the obstacle course of terror. The final pranks were to be pulled off on the day
Here is how it all went down:
It was Halloween morning, I got up to go to work, she was still asleep in the bed. I went into the bathroom and put fake bloody hand prints all over the sink. I made a few footprints on the floor. I took the razor and put fake blood on it, snapped the head off and tossed it on the floor. I put bloody hand prints on the towels and exited. Before leaving the bedroom and closing the door, I hung the “fake man ala my stuffed clothes” on the outside of the door. I went into the spare bedroom and slipped the cassette recorder with baby laughing under the bed pillow. I left about 15 minutes of silence on the cassette so the child would start laughing after I left the house. I also recorded the sounds in 5 minute intervals so the location would be harder to detect.
I grabbed her cellphone and pushed a couple of buttons with a fake bloody finger, then put it neatly back in her purse. I took the manikin’s head and put some fake blood on it, wrapped it in a plastic shopping bag and put it in the refrigerator. It was set up to fall out onto the floor when the door was opened. (That was hard). I went into the spare bathroom and set up the toilet monster and screamer. the toilet monster is a rubber monster that attaches to the seat and lid of the toilet. When you open the lid, the monster pops out. Add the screamer (a small box with batteries) to the monster so it yells when exposed to motion.
I took the 2 pencils and slipped a rubber band over them, then twisted the pencils in opposite directions so that when you let go, the pencils violently unraveled- like opposing helicopter blades stuck together. I took these, placed them in the bottom of the bowl and poured the popcorn on top. I had to set it up so that the pencils unraveled when the bowl was touched, throwing the popcorn everywhere. It took me a few minutes to do this. I had to hurry because the 15 minutes where almost up. The bowl was placed on the living room coffee table. A camcorder with an 8 hour tape was setup in the corner of the room- RECORDING
I stopped for a moment to chuckle uncontrollably until tears formed in my eyes.
I started to continue but chuckled again with more tears- dammit! Time’s almost up!
As I backed out of the garage, I almost drove into the grass because I was thinking about the manikin’s hand covered in fake blood wrapped in a plastic bag. It was tied to the inside of my wife’s car door and set to fall out when she opened the door.
What about the meal worms? I put those in her vehicle ashtray and placed her sunshades neatly over them.
(I’m chuckling right now as I type this)
Now, get to work! Start planning! Get the kids involved!
SCARE YOUR SPOUSE FOR HALLOWEEN!