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What Your Halloween Candy Says About You

Published by Darius Wieser

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All Your Secrets Are Revealed by Your Choice of Confections

It’s Halloween, and candy is the new astrology. There are about as many types of candy on the market as there are stars in the sky. But what is the hidden motive behind the bag you pick up at the supermarket? What are you trying to tell trick-or-treaters about yourself when you pass it out? Sugar is even more accurate than a birth chart on October 31st, and you can read more into a Snicker’s bar or bag of Skittles than you can read into a horoscope.

Candy Corn: you’re a traditionalist. You love the fall harvest season and everything related to it. You are full of charm and warmth and want to blanket the neighborhood with a warm, autumnal colored hand-pieced quilt to make everyone comfortable. For you Halloween is all about those warm autumn feelings that come from pretty leaves and rib-sticking soup on blustery days.

Gummy Candy: You’re enigmatic. You like to leave people guessing. You love it when people are just a little freaked out by you, and what’s more, you know they have good reason to be, even if you’re not going to reveal those reasons yourself. For you, the allure of Halloween is the mystery of what is behind the mask.

Chocolate: You’re generous. You don’t care that it’s more expensive for smaller packages, you’re willing to spring for the good stuff. You want to take care of your friends and neighbors. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing up big- first class all the way. For you, Halloween is about indulging in life’s many pleasures.

Lolly pops: You’re young at heart. Candy should not just be tasty, but it should be a fun experience that lasts… and you feel the same way about life itself. You want to savor all of life’s precious experiences and blessings. For you, Halloween is about the build up to the season exploding in one blast of a night.

Fruity Candy: You’re an optimist. Life is a bowl of cherries, and you don’t even mind the pits. The world is good and you’re just happy to be along for the ride. You want to spread that joy around to the neighborhood. For you, Halloween is a colorful holiday with many different “flavors”- scary, funny, gross, weird- and you want to experience it all.

Gum: You’re casual and comfortable. Chewing is a stress reliever, and bubbles or cracking lighten the mood. You pick gum because you like just going through life, collected and relaxed, enjoying the ride, waiting to see what’s around the next turn without sweating it. For you, Halloween is a spectator sport- just plain fun to watch.

Body Part Shaped Candy: you are a goth at heart. You might not necessarily run around in black with tattoos and piercings, but at heart you love the romanticism of the dark fantasies and are draw to the dark side to some extent. For you, Halloween is about celebrating your dark side communally.

Licorice: You are twisted- but in a good way. You frequently finding yourself liking best what seems to be everyone else’s last choice, and what’s more, you can’t figure out why they don’t see all the coolness in those things that you see. For you, Halloween is a chance to see everyone else’s twisted side that you know is there, but they’re just not as confident as you are about letting it out the rest of the year.

Assorted Candy Bags: You are eclectic. Your tastes run broad, you can’t settle for one thing, and don’t see why you or anyone else ever has to when the world has so much to offer. Variety is the spice of life. For you, Halloween is a chance for varied and unusual sights and experiences that breaks the monotony of day-to-day life.

Non-Candy Treats: You are a rebel. You want to give, you wan t to take part, but you march to the beat of your own drum. You’re not about to be come too much of a conformist, even if it is a fun holiday. So you give- but only something unique that sets you apart from the crowd. For you, Halloween is a chance for everyone to show off their uniqueness.

Money: You’re a last minute planner. Maybe you are lazy, maybe you got too busy, or maybe you forgot. Either way, you didn’t make it to the store for Halloween. But that’s okay. You can improvise and all is well. For you, Halloween is one of those fun days that always catches you off guard, but you’re delighted to see it even if you forgot to plan.

Nothing at all: you’re a bit of a stick in the mud. You need to lighten up and enjoy life a little more. Go out and buy some candy, greet your neighborhood trick-or-treaters with a hearty “Happy Halloween” this year and take part is some traditional community fun! For you, Halloween is a missed opportunity- so don’t let it slip by you another year.



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