I don’t know about anyone else but the one thing I despise about the holidays is not the long lines when shopping, all the baking I don’t want to do or even the huge mess that is left for only one person to clean up (yes that one person is me, go figure). The one thing I despise the most is being forced to spend hours upon hours with my mother in law. For me, that is something like spending the day in hell. She is so horribly rude but in a nice way. You know the kind that says something like “Is your vacuum cleaner broken?” because there is a speck of dust on the floor. So I have come up with great ways to spend the least amount of time with her during the holidays and I’m going to share them with you.
Never have the holidays at her house
This only leads to trouble! Because dinner is never ready on time so you show up with family in tow at 3pm and dinner isn’t ready until 5pm that’s two extra hours you have to be together. No way! So I cured this issue with the fact that she smokes and I can’t handle the smoking and don’t want to expose the kids to the harmful smoke either. Problem solved! Now she has to come to my house.
Don’t allow her to smoke in the house
This will keep her from wanting to stay too long. It’s cold out during the holidays and here in Michigan it’s usually freezing and even better yet snowing. No one wants to stand outside to smoke. Since I have put this rule into play in my house she stays maybe an hour tops. Lucky me!
Have a few stiff drinks
This will make you loosen up and maybe just maybe she wont get on your nerves so much! Also make sure to slip her a little alcohol in her eggnog so she can loosen up too and stop being such a snot!
Avoid dinning at either household!
I have found a very nice Chinese restaurant that is open on Thanksgiving. I felt like I had struck gold when I found this place! It might not be turkey with all the fixings but it keeps our fun family time to a bear minimum. I can make turkey on Friday when it’s just us.
Send her on vacation for the holiday
If you can’t stand her send her away. Hey it might work and if she’s in another state she can’t be sitting at my dinner table right?
Better yet you go on vacation for the holidays!
Hey this one works even better for me! If your half way across the country or even up north I highly doubt she will make a long trip for turkey day. You never know she might so to save yourself from that happening don’t tell her where your going. She can’t find you if she doesn’t know where to look!
Well that’s all the tips I have so hopefully in this time of what I call holiday punishment you will know that in lots of other household around the country someone else is in the same hell you are and all for some dry turkey and stuffing.